What do children learn about their employed parents' jobs? How do children of employed parents describe their home life and their parents' parenting skills? How does having employed parents affect children's lives?  We now have some answers to these questions based on the study, "Ask the Children," reported in the book, Ask the Children: What America's Children Really Think about Working Parents, by Ellen Galinsky of the Families and Work Institute. Galinsky is president of this non-profit center for research on the changing family, workplace and community.

The five-year study involved numerous steps that make the results valid, reliable and insightful.  The major objective was to find out how children in grades 3 through 12 view their working parents. The study included in-depth interviews with 175 parents and their children in 15 states. Galinsky says comparisons of what the children said and what parents said their children would say "_can help working parents be better parents - and better employees." She compared children's and parents' perceptions on such issues as: Is time at home calm or rushed? Do parents tell children much about work? Do parents like their work? How well are parents managing responsibilities?

The study also involved phone interviews of a nationally representative sample of 605 employed parents with children 18 years old or younger. This was a diverse group, racially and ethnically as well as by occupation. For instance, respondents included factory workers, business consultants, food service workers, small-business owners, freelance designers, workers in nonprofit organizations, taxi drivers, health care workers and professionals, bankers and clerical workers.

Also, a nationally representative sample of 1,023 children in grades 3 through 12 completed questionnaires during their English classes.  This group was also diverse and involved students in rural and urban public, private and parochial schools.

The LifeTime Editorial Board believes this work and others like it can yield valuable information for employed parents. So, we are starting a new column, "From the Child's View." Throughout the year we'll share information and significant findings from this study and others. As a way to share highlights of the "Ask the Children" study, all articles in this issue of LifeTime are related to the information in the Galinsky book.

By: Jan Thompson, Leader, Work/Life/Health Issues, Ohio State University Extension

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This chapter of Ask the Children: What America's Children Really Think About Working Parents focuses on what parents are teaching their children about managing work life and family life. Children are much more knowledgeable than parents give them credit for when it comes to understanding what parents do at work. However, a child's perception of what a parent does at work is often skewed because mom and dad don't fully explain their jobs.

The study found that both parents teach their children about their jobs through the discussion that occurs at home. Often this creates a negative view because parents tend to talk about all the bad things that happened at work. The researchers suggest that parents need to include the good things from work in their conversation, as well as offer their children the opportunity to visit the parents' worksite. 

Additionally, the study found that children know more about the type of work their mothers do than what their fathers do, even though employment has traditionally been a father's role.

Working parents are faced with the challenge of managing work and family life. According to the children, they see their parents in very positive terms when it comes to managing work and family life. The children are twice as likely as a parent to say mom or dad is successful at managing multiple roles.

By: Mary Longo, Family and Consumer Sciences Agent for Ohio State University Extension, Marion County

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The conditions that seem to affect children the most from our work life are: 

• Jobs that demand more time -- long hours or many days of travel. 
• Stresses and strains on the job and our ability to focus, getting everything done.
• Quality of our jobs, what satisfaction we derive from our work.
• Workplace support from supervisors and coworkers, and family-friendliness of the workplace. 

The third facet is focused time, a time to connect and communicate. It is different from quality time because it isn't always a happy time, but a time to resolve a problem or conflict. This is also a time when children come first: "I want my mom to like her job but not more than she loves me" (p. 212). The fourth facet is spending nonstressful time, time that his relaxed and not pressured. For parents, it is knowing how to unwind and teaching their children how to cope with stress.

Parents who experience positive spillover from work to parenting, who feel successful as parents and believe that their child is developing well, reinvest this positive energy in work. Parents who feel most successful are the ones who spend time with their children, who have more unrushed time, more focused time and more nonstressful time. 

The bottom line is that you don't pay attention to only the choices you make at work or to the family, you pay attention to the combination of choices you are making at all times, to navigate the ongoing process of parenting in a working world.

By Melinda Hill, Family and Consumer Sciences Agent for Ohio State University Extension, Wayne County

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It's the age-old question for working parents: Is it quantity time or quality time with my kids that counts? Is it how much time we spend together or how meaningful that time together is? But is this really an either/or debate? And more importantly, do kids and their parents feel the same way about this issue?

The top concern of both working mothers and fathers is that they don't spend enough time with their children. However, the majority of kids, ages 8 through 18, feel that they do have enough time with their employed parents. In fact, two-thirds of children give their working parents high marks in both parenting skills and balancing work and family. 

Both parents and children report that the most important thing they do each day is eat meals together. In fact, kids who frequently eat meals with their parents are more likely to feel that their mothers and fathers put their family before their jobs, that the parents help them feel important and loved, and that they can go to their parents if they are upset or need advice.

So the debate rages on. What is apparent is that both quantity and quality time are important to both parents and children. Maybe what we need is a change in the way we talk about this issue. Instead of focusing on quantity and quality, we can say that parents and kids need both focused times and hang-around times together.

By: Rebecca Culbertson Collins, Family and Consumer Sciences Agent for Ohio State University Extension, Gallia County

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Making the choice to work makes a difference, but not as big a difference as how we work. Research suggests that maintaining job demands at a reasonable level is one effective strategy to achieving balance. Finding the boundary between what feels exciting and challenging and what feels overwhelming may vary significantly among individuals.

Organizing work, both at home and on the job, so that focus can be placed on what's important, helps many employees feel more productive. Look for a level of multi-tasking - just how many balls you can comfortably manage to juggle - that contributes to a personal sense of wellbeing.

A good quality job - one with autonomy and an opportunity to learn - gives meaning and purpose to work. Additionally, working parents who feel their work is meaningful experience less stress, less fatigue and greater life enjoyment.

Working in a supportive environment is a major factor in employment satisfaction. Try to bring out the best in your supervisor by learning more about his or her management style and build positive relationships with co-workers.

The same aspects of life that are important at work are critical at home as well: demands, focus, autonomy and support. The demands a parent faces, his or her ability to focus on the child, the autonomy the parent has in raising the child, and the support he or she has from family and friends are directly linked to success felt on the homefront.

By:  Ann Clutter, Family and Consumer Sciences Specialist, Southwest District , Ohio State University Extension

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