Tips can ease 'caught in middle' feeling
Many of us are finding ourselves "caught in the middle" of the dependent care equation
these days.
If you are providing daily care for an aging relative while caring for your own children, you are not alone. The U.S. General Accounting Office reports that friends or family members provide 80 to 90 percent of daily home care services. Many caregivers have children living at home while they are caring for older relatives or friends. This situation may be a recipe for stress but there are ways to reduce its effects:
-
Look for ways to cut personal and home maintenance time. Try a low-maintenance hairstyle, buy easy-care clothing, or learn to settle for a little more dust around the house. Decide where you can make changes in your life without unacceptable levels of sacrifice.
-
Plan, when possible, to take advantage of your personal prime time. If you are a morning person, plan to do difficult or unpleasant tasks first thing in the morning while you still have lots of energy. If you don't come alive until after noon, arrange your schedule to take advantage of your own peak times.
-
Don't wait for family members to volunteer their help. If you don't ask for help, others may think you neither need nor want assistance. Share both the joys and the burdens of caring for aging family members. If a relative is reluctant or afraid to help, start with something easy and fun. For example, your brother may enjoy taking mom or dad for a ride or out for ice cream, giving you time to shop or complete other tasks while your relatives enjoy family time. After a few "easy" experiences, they may be more willing to help with harder tasks. If not, remember that any help at all is useful. Even the youngest child can help an older relative with some daily tasks. Helping grandma comb her hair each morning may become your child's most cherished memory.
-
Talk honestly with your employer early in your experience as a caregiver and keep him or her informed as your situation changes. Explore options for flex- or family-time before a crisis occurs. Having a "Plan B" in place well before it is needed will help both you and your supervisor.
-
Use community services as they are available and useful to you. Services such as home-delivered meals and respite care can make family
care-giving easier for everyone.
-
Last, but absolutely not least, make time for yourself and your family. You cannot provide good care for your loved ones if you become ill or depressed. Find a way for each family member to continue enjoying some things they love. Your whole family will benefit!
by: Joyce J. Brown, Agent
Family and Consumer Sciences
Ohio State University Extension
Athens County
Back to the top
According to a study conducted by the Families and Work Institute, children overwhelmingly see money as the best benefit of having a working parent. Children in grades 7 through 12 with employed parents were asked what was the best thing about having a working father/mother. Sixty percent indicated it was the mother/father being able to buy things for the child that were needed or that the child felt were special. The remaining 40 percent felt they were able to learn about the world of work, make friends and go interesting places because of a parent working. Still, some children indicated they saw no benefit in a parent working.
Source:
Galinsky, Ellen. Ask the Children: What America's Children Really Think About Working Parents
(New York: William Morrow and Company, Inc., 1999).
by: Mary Longo, Agent
Family and Consumer Sciences
Ohio State University Extension
Marion County
Back to the top
Food just one aspect of elderly meal planning
When preparing meals, taste preferences, nutritional value and food safety usually rise to the top of considerations. But, especially when planning meals for the elderly, don't forget a fourth priority: companionship. In general, people eat better in pleasant environments with friends. Also, relationships built during mealtimes enhance the well-being of those involved.
Many senior centers provide hot lunches, along with social activities and transportation. If the senior you are caring for cannot leave home, perhaps a meal delivery program would aid in getting healthy meals to your loved one while you are unavailable.
Most senior meal programs must meet guidelines showing that they are providing nutritious meals that are prepared safely and served at safe temperatures. Another benefit is the availability of special diets such as low-fat, diabetic, or low-sodium, if needed.
While preparing meals for yourself, your friends and family members, the Food Guide Pyramid is a great reference for planning menus including foods from the five food groups.
Specifically for senior citizens, make sure they drink at least eight 8-ounce glasses of water, juice, milk, or decaffeinated coffee or tea each day. As we age, our bodies need more fluid to protect our fragile skin and to assist in digestion. Unfortunately, the thirst mechanism tends not to work as well as we get older. Drinking fluids even if you're not thirsty is important for older people.
Finally, remember that older persons may have fewer tastebuds and experience difficulty in chewing. Keep food tender and moist with added seasonings other than salt. A favorite food in the past may now be disliked because of sensory changes. Be flexible and communicate with your loved ones so you can better meet their needs.
by: Cheryl L. Barber, Agent
Family and Consumer Sciences
Ohio State University Extension
Fulton County
Back to the top
That's Life: Being parent and child can lead to double life
Been there. Done that. Leading a double life, that is-caring for an ailing parent, being a parent to teen-agers still living at home, trying to maintain a somewhat stable home-life, working full time, and still needing some time for myself. About this time, one may feel pulled in so many directions that one wonders if the body is indeed made of silly putty.
Talk about wearing lots of hats, there isn't even time to remove one hat to put on another. You just wear them all at the same time so you'll be ready for the next episode and hope you can keep your balance, perspective, and face forward.
You wonder if you can handle another upset in your routine. But, as anyone familiar with Murphy knows, more events loom in the future.
In my case, just for starters, we were planning a wedding for my oldest daughter, my son totaled his vehicle coming home for a weekend visit from college, and my mother passed away. I don't want to bore you with the rest of the events our family faced that year.
Looking back, there were three, no four, very important things that kept me going and helped keep everything in perspective: faith, humor, friends, and my husband was out of a job that year! He was, and still is, my best friend. The amazing thing is that research studies support my theories! Faith, humor, friends, and a very best friend: It's important to let them all be a part of your life.
by: Ruth Ann Foote, Agent
Family and Consumer Sciences
Ohio State University Extension
Mercer County
Back to the top
Volunteers cross the generations
Time is a precious commodity of which we never seem to have enough. As volunteers give of their time, they increase the possibility of individual attention for activities with youth and others. It is as if volunteers stretch our time while enriching the lives of those they touch.
Volunteers have become a valuable resource for many families, businesses, schools, and other organizations. Most volunteers used to be full-time homemakers. Today's volunteers include students, full-time professionals, and senior citizens.
To keep older adult volunteers involved, Lucy Rose Fischer and Kay Banister Schaffer in their book
Older Volunteers: A Guide to Research and Practice , suggest the following:
-
Match the volunteer to the tasks.
-
Orient volunteers so they know what is expected.
-
Provide challenging jobs of interest to the volunteer - not busywork.
-
Help volunteers recognize they are making a difference.
-
Encourage friendships between volunteers, paid staff and others.
Older adults who volunteer remain actively involved in the community. Volunteering gives them a sense of purpose by providing meaningful opportunities to share their diverse knowledge, skills and experiences. Friendships and a sense of belonging are a benefit of volunteering. This interaction with others leads to greater physical, mental and social well-being for the older adult.
In addition, the community benefits as the wisdom of volunteers and the gift of service is passed on to another generation.
by: Patricia H. Holmes, Coordinator
Gerontology
Ohio State University Extension
Back to the top
|
