What's a father
to do?
Women are not the only parents faced with the challenges of balancing
work and family. Every day in the United States, nearly 25 million
fathers head off to work leaving dependent children at home. Frequently,
dad's priorities are stretched and strained to the limit between employment
and family responsibilities. Is there a solution?
James Levine, author of "Working Fathers" and director of the Fatherhood
Project at the Families and Work Institute, emphasizes the importance of
daily connection with children to keep the relationship strong and growing.
Creating a ritual with each child - a hobby or sport to enjoy together,
a bedtime story or even a walk to the park - builds a tradition that makes
lasting memories.
Kids need dad's physical and verbal affection regularly and often -
even when they squirm with embarrassment. A hug and expressions of
affection are power surges of support to growing children, both boys and
girls. Levine cautions fathers not to get sidetracked by "the sissy
myth," reserving most hugs and kisses for their daughters. Research
shows that the single best predictor of masculinity in sons is actually
the father's warmth and closeness.
Reconnecting with a child at the end of the workday becomes even more
complicated when the child has his own full schedule. "Try to get
in sync with whatever your kids are already doing," Levine suggests.
It's important to enter into the child's flow rather than expect him or
her to enter into the parent's. To get kids to open up, avoid the
standard "What did you do today?" and ask a specific question instead.
If he's at the computer, "Can you show me how to do that?" opens the door
to dialogue and further interaction.
Children may be allergic to performing household chores, but when invited
to work on a task WITH a parent, several benefits can occur: the job gets
done; the child learns responsibility; and the parent/child relationship
is enhanced. Younger children like going to the post office, helping
clean out the garage or washing the dog. Including kids in weekend
chores may slow down the work, but it will achieve the greater goal of
creating quality time for both dad and child.
by: Ann Clutter, Family & Consumer Sciences
Specialist, OSU Extension, Southwest District
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LifeTime Tip
Until recently, scientists had no idea just how active the brains of
infants really are. Through the use of new technology, we now know that
incredible growth and development happens in the brain during these first
years.
We can affect this development by interacting with babies in ways that
stimulate their brains and help them grow. While these early experiences
have a direct effect on the way the brain is wired, they don't have to
be special activities to appropriately stimulate the brain.
The most important thing adults can do to stimulate the development
of a baby's brain is to develop a warm and caring relationship with the
baby. Holding, touching, talking, and responding promptly to a baby's cry
is vital in helping the baby learn to develop trusting relationships with
others. Surrounding children with language is vital. Talk to them about
what is happening around them and give them the chance to respond to you
through their body movement or first sounds. Give babies many opportunities
to explore a variety of materials and let them try to solve their own problems
in their daily lives, rather than doing it for them.
Respond to cues babies send you about when they have had enough. Cues
such as turning the head away from you should let you know to stop interacting
and let your baby relax. Overstimulating a baby will result in frustration,
not extra learning.
by: Kimberlee Whaley, Human Development &
Family Science Specialist, OSU Extension
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Packing a lunch?
Make it safe
If packed lunches are part of the routine at your home, make
food safety the watchword. Keeping food safe begins before even before
handling the food. First wash hands with hot soapy water. Use clean utensils
to handle the foods. If using a paper bag, use a new one every day. Also
use new plastic bags or new wraps for food. This helps avoid cross-contamination
and potential food poisoning.
A lunch that won't be refrigerated needs special considerations. Follow
these safety tips:
Sandwich. Use a frozen meat spread or frozen meat loaf as the
sandwich filling. If the lunch will be at room temperature for 3 to 4 hours,
don't pack egg, meat or creamy mixtures. Peanut butter and aged cheeses
are safer choices. Or pack a single-size serving container of tuna or another
meat. Also remember to wrap toppings, like lettuce and tomato, separately,
to be put on the sandwich when eaten.
Soups. Use a wide-mouthed insulated container for soups, stews,
casserole servings, or other foods that need to be kept hot.
Fruits and vegetables. Pack sliced items in new plastic bags
or wraps. Single-serving sizes of canned fruits and fruit juices can be
frozen and packed. They will be thawed by lunch time and can help keep
the entire lunch cold until eaten. A wide mouthed insulated container can
also be used to keep a salad cold and fresh.
Desserts. Pack a pudding cup, especially if milk isn't part of
the lunch. A muffin is also a safe choice. Or, try dried fruit or a dried
granola mix for some variety. Never pack homemade custards or puddings
if refrigeration isn't available.
by: Sharon Strouse, Family & Consumer
Sciences Agent, OSU Extension, Holmes County
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Make sure that insulated bag
works
Most of us think we are packing a safe lunch
if we put it in an "insulated" lunch box with something cold. Unfortunately,
research indicates that many of those insulated containers may not keep
food as cold or safe as they should.
If you want to make sure about yours, pack a lunch
on a day that you are home and put a food thermometer in the box. Be sure
the thermometer is on top of a non-refrigerated food, like cookies or raisins.
Let it set for the amount of time you would on a working or school day,
then check the temperature.
If the thermometer is above 40 degrees, it is
in the danger zone. Food should not be left above 40 degrees for more than
two hours, or one hour if it's really hot.
If you are thinking of purchasing an insulated
lunch box, read the fine print to see if it has been tested. Here are some
other tips for safe lunch:
-
Pack food that is already cold -- don't expect the
container to cool the item you pack.
-
Use a frozen ice pack or frozen juice box to keep
things cold.
-
Make sure your container fastens securely, so warm
air doesn't get in or cold air, out.
-
Fill the container as much as possible. Empty space
is hard to keep cold.
by: Melinda Hill, Family & Consumer Sciences
Agent, OSU Extension, Wayne County
Saving for college
When families save money for their children's college expenses,
the best bet is to start early. To have $10,000 when your child is
age 18 requires a monthly contribution of about $33 if you start at age
4, but $386 if you wait until age 16 (assuming 8 percent interest).
When you have a long time horizon, invest in higher-return growth stocks/mutual
funds to gain more in interest, since you have time to ride out market
fluctuations. With shorter time frames, look at U.S. Savings Bonds
(no federal income tax on Series EE if used for qualified higher education
expenses), home equity or other loans, and student financial aid.
In Ohio, you can consider the Ohio Tuition Trust Authority's (OTTA)
prepaid tuition plan. Units cost $45.50 (through Sept. 30, 1999).
Buy whole or partial units through payroll deduction or cash transfer from
a bank account ($15 minimum). Federal tax is deferred on the appreciated
value (that is, value over the original purchase price) until funds are
used for college tuition and expenses, and then the tax is at student's
rate. (There's no Ohio tax on appreciation.)
Parents can claim the federal Hope tax credit (up to $1,500/yr. for
the first two years of college; then up to $1000 in Lifelong Learning credits
in subsequent years). Only tuition and related expenses (not room
and board) are allowed for Hope credit, and eligibility limitations are
$40,000-$50,000 for individuals and $80,000-$100,000 for couples filing
jointly.
In Education IRAs, annual contributions of up to $500 per child grow
free of federal taxes if used for qualified higher education expenses.
If any contribution is made to a prepaid tuition plan in a given year,
NO contribution may be made to an Education IRA for that same beneficiary
by ANYONE in that same year. You can't claim the Hope credit if an
Education IRA is used.
Student and family financial assets may jeopardize some chances for
financial aid. Carefully study possible consequences of any investment
or prepaid tuition plan. Additional information is available:
OTTA, 1 (800) AFFORD-IT or http://www.prepaid-tuition.state.oh.us; savings
bonds, 1 (800) 4US-BOND; Consumer Information Center, http://www.pueblo.gsa.gov;
financial aid, http://www.finaid.org.
by: Carolyn McKinney, Family Resource Management
Specialist, OSU Extension
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